Wedding seating etiquette: who sits where
The old rules were built for formal dinners and big families. Here is what still matters, and what you can safely ignore.
The head table, or not
The traditional head table seats the couple with the wedding party, facing the room. A sweetheart table seats just the two of you and lets the wedding party sit with their own partners — increasingly the default. Either is correct. See head table ideas for the options.
Parents and grandparents
They get the best seats after yours: closest to your table, with a clear view of the toasts and the first dance. Traditionally each family's parents host a table with grandparents, the officiant and close family friends.
Divorced or separated parents
Give each parent their own table of equal standing, both close to the front, each with their own family and friends. Don't put them at the same table unless they genuinely get along, and never make one of them sit further back than the other.
Plus-ones and couples
Seat couples together, including plus-ones. A guest who brings a date they met last month still expects to sit with them.
Single guests
Seat them with people they know or people they'll like, not at a "singles table" that announces itself. Mixed tables of friends from the same chapter of your life work best.
Children
Young children sit with their parents. A kids' table works for children old enough to sit without help — around eight and up — and is best placed within sight of their parents' table.
Vendors
A photographer, planner or band working through the evening needs a seat and a meal during dinner. Seat them at a small table near the action so they can get up quickly.
The table nobody wants
Next to the speakers, by the kitchen door, behind a pillar. Leave those spots empty if you can, or use them for a gift table or photo display rather than seating guests there.
More guides
Put it into practice
Wedding Charts lays out your room, seats households together, keeps the people who shouldn't meet apart, and prints the poster and cards.
Start your seating chartFree in your browser: one chart, up to 50 guests. No card.
Questions
Who sits at the head table at a wedding?
Traditionally the couple and the wedding party, sometimes with partners. Many couples now choose a sweetheart table for two and let the wedding party sit with their own guests.
Where do divorced parents sit at a wedding?
At separate tables of equal standing, both near the front, each hosting their own family and friends.
Should a wedding have a kids table?
For children about eight and older, a kids table near their parents works well. Younger children should sit with their parents.